Dear younger people,
Today I was browsing on Instagram, which I do often. Being in Public Relations and Marketing, I'm constantly monitoring social media channels. I have a lot of people I follow {specifically on Instagram, but also on others} who are younger than me...
- I work with the youth group at my church
- I lead a small group for high school girls
- I was in a sorority and have many younger sisters who I stay in touch with
- I have a sister in high school - therefor I claim many of her friends as my own
- I have many friends with younger siblings... and therefor I also claim them as my own
- I've spent years teaching dance, dance camps, working with dance teams and working at summer camps as a counselor
I don't feel I need to justify that point, but the point I want to get across is that the age difference between us is very small {in the grand scheme of things}. The big difference is the phase of life I'm in verse the phase of life you are in.
While I'm only 4-10 years older than many of these friends I follow or are connected with on Social Media, I've survived the awkward middle school days, made it through high school {alive}, somehow I managed to get out of college with a great degree, and have held 3 great positions in my field of study that have always been a step closer to my career goals. I've broken hearts, had my heart broken, lost friends, gained friends, made bad decisions, made awful situations worse, made great decisions, and seen God turn the most awful, unpromising situation into a glorious case that just proves His love for us.
What I don't understand {and I constantly, and too frequently stumble upon} is why... oh WHY... do younger people find in necessary to cuss on social media, post pictures with alcohol, use vulgar speech and post half naked selfies? And please... oh PUHLEASE... do not think I am stereotyping younger people or saying 'all young people do these things.' Trust me... there are some younger people out there that live such a mature, amazing life, that it daily challenges me to be a better person and examine the situations I make in my own life. But it seems that the bad posts have stood out to me lately.
I've noticed that younger people like freedom and to express themselves at their will. {Note: Freedom comes with a price.} Of course we all do... and I am a huge fan of all the pro's that Social Media has brought to our society... but the way some younger people put themselves out there on their pages is just appalling. Is this an entitlement thing? Does it make you cool? Do you think you are going to grow into future leaders of your generation by posting these things? Does posting a sentence where every other word is a cuss word get you the 'hott guy' at school or the 'popular' girl? Does a half-naked selfie really attract the type of person you want to date? Does posting pics of you and your friends partying and drinking adult beverages make you cooler than the person who is just doing it without posting pics of it?... oh wait. Drinking underage is illegal... Oh yeah... there's a penalty for that which can go on your record permanently. Posting pics of it is definitely not smart. Moving on...
Even more... do you think your parents don't see it? Or do your parents not discourage it? {I guess that's another rant for another day} Or do you just... not... care...?
I don't know about you... but I sure would not say those things in front of my mom who has busted her butt to raise us... and especially not in front of my grandmother! Geez.
AND even more... let's look at the future, people... Would you younger people say these things in an interview? Would you say these things to your future spouse? Would you look a CEO of a company you desired to employed at and show them a picture of you dancing with your friends on top of a truck in a field with red solo cups {only filled with soda... of course} and repeat the words you posted {1/3 of them being vulgar and cuss words} along with that half-naked selfie?
Everyone should consider those things... because that's exactly who will see those vulgar posts, those unnecessary cuss words and the exposing pictures {along with all the people whose newsfeeds you pop up in}.
Don't get me wrong... I've done enough stupid things to hold my own. I'm not better than anyone and I'm so thankful I serve a loving God who does not hold anything against me but freely loves and forgives.
I'm writing this letter more as a challenge because it hurts me to see young people throwing away the potential they could have in the future because they are naive in thinking that their current actions won't affect their future. I just want to warn you since I'm going through life only slightly ahead of you.
More and more companies are using Social Media as a free background check. Even with your privacy settings on, they can get the info they need. And if they can't, the bigger companies have connections with people that can.
I may not be old enough to be your boss (or maybe I am...), but I am the person that would screen an application prior to a job interview. I'm the person that would write a resume for a sorority. I'm the person who is friends with the 'bosses.' I'm the person with connections at the schools and colleges you want to go to. I'm the person who has connections to the people you need to know, but would never refer someone to a position who I would not put my name on... and by some of the things I see posted on social media, I definitely wouldn't want my name on that.
GIRLS... let's look at it from this view {we can stop for a minute on the uptight future school/career stuff} || DO YOU WANT TO PORTRAY THAT TYPE OF GIRL TO YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE? || Do you want to attract a guy who parties all the time and is going nowhere in life? || Do you want your body to be exposed to the world {because that can happen with social media} when that is supposed to be special to your future husband? || Do you not have enough respect for yourself to put some clothes on.... or at least not post half naked pics of you in those clothes? || Do you really think that the top women in business got there by cussing and posting party pics? || Do you think cussing is lady like? {Or do you not care...?} || I could go on... but I will stop.
GUYS... I can't look at it from your point of view... but what I can say is that you are called to be leaders. In your schools. In relationships. In sports. In many other ways. The things you say can help or hurt girls your age and you can be the difference, the leaders in their lives. You are their friends. You are their boyfriends. Encouraging words go farther than you could ever imagine.
I don't want to sound like a prude. I had fun in high school and probably too much fun in college. And I have those memories in my head... not in my digital blueprint for the whole world to track my life timeline during those phases of life. I would hope that my future husband could look back at my social media timeline and be proud of what he sees. I would hope that my social media pages would be even more proof why an employer would want to hire me to represent their name, their company and their brand. I hope my online presence is an inspiration to others and a testament to my character.
And dear younger people... just know that older people aren't perfect either. I constantly see people older than me post questionable posts with vulgar language and cussing as well. That saddens me. Social media can be a great thing... and it can also be a detrimental thing.
BUT I challenge YOU to be the difference. Make a change. Live your life to a standard you would be proud of when you look back 10, 20, 50 years from now... because trust me... unless the internet as we know it disappears, your whole life (or what you post of it) will still be accessible some way or another.
As I've been noticing how much it hurts me to see these posts by younger people, I've been examining what I post. Does it positively affect others? Will it help someone? Does it hurt someone? Does it represent my character? There's definitely past posts and pictures I've posted that I look back on and wish I hadn't. But you can't live in the past. You can only move forward and learn from your mistakes. And that's what I'm trying to do.
I love my position in life. I love speaking into the lives of younger people. If I've made a difference in just one life, I've lived a life worth living. I hope my life can be somewhat of an example for younger people and that younger people can take my mistakes and learn from them to avoid the road bumps I did earlier in life.
Any decision in life will either have a negative or positive impact on your life... and broadcasting those decisions on the world wide web for all to see will only dramatize those decisions and leave a lasting imprint in the digital world.
If you've made it this far, thanks for reading. Feel free to share or comment. No one is perfect but I hope we can raise a generation of young leaders who will positively affect others around them.
Be awesome. Stay Classy. Love unconditionally. Change the world.
WARNING: Your child self may be staring at you in disbelief. It's okay. We must all grow up at some point and eat our veggies.
