Stop. Step Back. Stand.

So a few weeks ago, I was in a small and intimate worship setting. The presence of God was thick and it was in that moment that although there were 30-ish other people around... it was just ME and GOD. I had this vision... {ok, let me preface where I am in life to better explain the significance of my vision}

I am for the most part very independent. I desire to be able to depend on someone else for things in the future, but because of some things in the past, I carry a lot of weight on my shoulders because of my independence. That can be both good and bad...

• The pros: I get things done. I know time management & money management {well... I KNOW it... I may not always necessarily PRACTICE it...}. I don't depend on anyone to make a decision for me and I don't let other people's decision affect me. I have a great job for a 25 year old (all glory to God on that one). I get to make decisions in my job and people respect those decisions...
• The cons: I take on too much responsibility at times. Sometimes I carry other people's burdens and hurt because I want to help them to things that I do for myself (even though it's not my responsibility). I don't always trust others to do things, so I do them myself therefor resulting with a HUGE to do list. I overcommit myself...

While there's many, many more... I'll move along and hope you get the picture. I'm independent, but I'm not I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T (like the rap song)... 'do you know what I mean?' {haha that's part of the lyrics - so I hope you get my humor and reference} Over the past 2 years (since moving to Destin), I have struggled to just 'let go' of things and give them to God. The more I've been able to do this, the more blessings I've received. They weren't always easy to see, but I look back over the past two years and they are so clear. {See a recent Facebook status below}

wow. I stand in awe of the faithfulness of God. Tomorrow I am running in a half marathon (13.1 miles) after years of being injured. I am blessed to be a part of a planning team for an awesome event (and more) in the works (details coming soon). In June, I get to travel to Guatemala on a missions trip to serve at an orphanage. I love my job. I get to hang out with the coolest family. I work with some really awesome youth at my church. I'm dancing again. My friends rock.-- I look back over the past few years and I have no answers but I give all the glory to God. Was it an easy walk? No. Are there still going to be challenges ahead? Yes. But I walk in faith knowing that God hears the desires of your heart and whether they play out like you had planned or whether He brings you to those places through a different route, He is faithful and walks the entire route with you. You just have to take that leap of faith and put your trust in Him. He has plans for you that are bigger than you can imagine... it just takes us committing to that first step and saying, 'ok God. Lead the way.'

Over the past few months, my relationship with God has grown so much. He's blessed me in SO many ways that it's just amazing. I've taken two years to really focus on the path HE has for me and it was hard, but here I am. I've been feeling that a season of change was coming and not in a bad way, but that these two years have really been prepping me for bigger things for my future. In the past 6 months, I've been blessed with an amazing job, great friendships and he has placed me in positions that I never saw myself in before, but I love it.

Even with all these blessings and great things God has done for me, my independence kicks in and I attempt to carry all of this weight on my shoulders. I find myself worrying about things at work or tasks for other stuff I'm involved in, or even things in my relationships. I attempt to solve problems out of my own ability then all of a sudden God reminds me, 'I'm bigger than that ______ (insert problem here)___.'

God says, 'I'm bigger than your relationship issues. I'm bigger than that obstacle at work. I'm bigger than your feelings that got hurt by what that person said. I'm bigger than the guilt from that mistake you made in the past.' THESE are the things that I (and many other people) attempt to 'carry on our shoulders.'

SO back to this vision that I had.... I was in worship and I saw the cross. God whispered to me in that moment and said, "all you have to do is lay everything at the foot of the cross. I want to carry that weight of {all those things I listed above... and more} so your arms are free. With the freedom of your arms, all you need to do is lift your hands and worship me." What a cool vision. It's so true. He's got the whole world in his hands... and all we do is try to worry about what someone says about us behind our backs (just one example).

Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you. -1 Peter 5:7 (NLT)

So be content with who you are, and don't put on airs. God's strong hand is on you; he'll promote you at the right time. Live carefree before God; he is most careful with you. -1 Peter 5:6-7 (MSG) 

wow. I love the Message version of this verse, 'he is most careful with you.' That's just amazing to think about. We are God's workmanship (Eph. 2:10). He loves us and cares about us. We are his prized creation. Why should we worry when the creator of the universe holds the future in his hands... I just can't wrap my mind around that sometimes (probably because my independence kicks in and wants to help with the creation, haha...)

But how true is it that we as humans constantly try to take matters into our own hands without listening to what God is telling us and how heavy do these burdens get and weigh us down. In those moments of heavy burdens weighing us down, we aren't down what we are created to do (worship God). We are worrying and trying to plan and trying to do something one way... which turns into an attempt to do the same thing (but another way)... and we are running around and around and around when all we need to do is Stop. Step back. Stand at the foot of the cross. Lay all of that burden, guilt, anxiety and stress at his feet. He will carry it for you. He WANTS to carry it for you and He CAN carry it for you. In that moment, of laying everything down at His feet, there's an overwhelming peace and freedom that you can't explain. It takes trust and it takes you crossing that line and literally saying, 'I let go of ______, and I trust that you will carry it for me and that you have amazing things ahead of me in my future.'

With that overwhelming freedom, you are back to your state of being able to just freely worship because all of those heavy loads have been lifted off.

Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken. -Psalm 55:22 (NIV)

Give your burdens to the Lord, and he will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall. -Psalm 55:22 (NLT)

Pile your trouble on God's shoulders -- he'll carry your load, he'll help you out. He'll never let good people topple into ruin. -Psalm 55:22 (MSG)

The Message version of Psalm 55:22 is where my heart is. 'He'll carry your load, he'll help you out.' We just need to Stop. Step back. Stand at the foot of the cross and give it all to him.